A Conversation with K.M. Soehnlein, by Swetha Amit
Bio: K. M. Soehnlein is the author of the novels Army of Lovers, The World of Normal Boys, You Can Say You Knew Me When, and Robin and Ruby, along with essays and
journalism in numerous publications. He is the recipient of the Lambda Literary Award,
Henfield Prize, and SFFILM Rainin Grant in Screenwriting. He received an MFA from
San Francisco State University and teaches at the University of San Francisco MFA in
Writing Program. Raised in New Jersey, he lived in New York City during the AIDS crisis, participating in direct action with ACT UP and cofounding Queer Nation, all of which inform his recent novel, Army of Lovers. He currently lives in San Francisco.
What inspired the Army of Lovers?
Army of Lovers was inspired by the events of my life. I moved to New York City in 1987 and got involved in ACT UP, the AIDS activist group, until 1992, after which I left the city. This period was the same for Paul, the narrator of the book. I was inspired to write about this period as it was a historical time. I was among people who were making a social change and was very involved with this. On a personal level, many powerful things happened to me, from my first relationship to family troubles and the activism I was involved with. It was a very vivid and vibrant phase in my life. I always knew I'd write about it. It was just a matter of time, and it took a very long time for me.
This social change happened in the 80s and 90s. What made you choose to tell the story now?
It took a long time as it was hard to write. It was the most ambitious novel I ever wrote. I never wrote a book that covered a considerable period of political and social change. I've never written a novel that had so much emotion. I've always been a writer who has gotten into emotional stories through the characters. But this was a world where there was an epidemic going on. It was killing people I knew, a harrowing tale. It took a long time to get it right. Another reason why it took a long time is because I tried to get this novel published eight years ago. I had an agent in New York who stopped trying to sell the book after facing multiple rejections. I had to rethink how to write this novel, and over these eight years I ended up writing many drafts.
You have used the first person and inserted small portions of the second person. How did you choose to tell the story this way?
I knew from the beginning it was going to be first person. In fact, when I began writing it, I thought it might be a memoir. But as a novelist, my brain immediately started creating fiction out of the events. At one point, I thought it would be autofiction and decided to name the character Karl. I was inspired by many authors who create these blurred boundaries between memoir and fiction. The longer I worked on it, the character in the book became less and less like me and more like a fictional character on the page. I realized he was not Karl and decided to name him Paul instead. The story had to be told from the voice of the person living the experience. It's a story set over thirty years ago, and I wanted to write the past in the present tense. I was inspired by Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye, which has a middle-aged narrator looking back at her youth.
The sections that break into “Notes to Self” were something I developed later. I had to acknowledge that this was a story written and told by someone who is and is not Paul in the book. I looked at novels that used metafictional techniques to remind the reader there is a writer behind even the first-person narrator. Those notes are the writer questioning why he is writing the story. More than the second person, this is the first person's direct address, talking to himself.
You mention how it started out as autofiction. When did you start feeling distant from the character Paul and realize he wasn't you?
When I was eight drafts into the novel. At one point, I needed help figuring out how to push through the places where I was stuck. A friend suggested that I stop thinking of this character as myself and more as a character on the page. In time, I saw that many things were happening to Paul that didn't happen to me. When the “didn't” outweighed the “did,” I decided to take out Karl, and the weight came off my shoulders. I began to focus more on Paul.
The novel is set in the 80s and 90s, and though you lived a large part of that life yourself, did you feel you had to go back and research to bring the authenticity of that era to the page?
I had to do research, as I only remembered some things. I looked up many things online, talked to several survivors of ACT UP, and sought their input. I also read some other books that have been written about this subject. Strangely, there have been few books besides a few nonfiction books, considering the significance of this movement.
You talked about historical events and had to tell a fictional tale. How did you manage this process of weaving fact and fiction together?
It's hard, and that's one of the reasons why it took so long. I wanted to ensure there was a lot of information about AIDS activism and the trajectory of ACT UP over the years. I always knew it had to be told through Paul's eyes. I cut out around 150 pages about the larger ACT UP group and narrowed it down to Paul's personal story within the group.
It was challenging to come out in the 60s and 70s. How do you think things have changed now?
Things have changed a lot. Back then, we did not have allies, faced a lot of stigma, and were very isolated. We fought to change that, and we have come a long way. Today the White House lights up in rainbow colors during Pride month. At that time, Ronald Reagan's admin did nothing to help anyone with AIDS. They just let us die and went as far as to joke about it. But unfortunately, we are facing the same enemies again in the form of right-wing conservatism.
You mentioned getting multiple rejections earlier. How did you deal with that painful experience?
I took it very personally. This book was a personal story. I was very hurt when multiple places refused to publish. That was a low phase, and I began to focus on other projects. While a part of me never gave up, the multiple rejections compelled me to let go and walk away from it.
In a short time, I became acquainted with Michael Nava, who is the managing editor of Amble Press. He asked if I had any manuscripts in hand. I sent him the first fifty pages, and he agreed to publish it. It was just a matter of finding the right person at the right time. I didn't have an agent and was looking for one. Initially, a few sounded interested but have yet to get back to me after I sent them the manuscript. It was discouraging, but at the same time, I had people who believed there was an audience for this book.
What do you want readers to take away from this book?
For people who lived through these times, I hope I have honored the struggle that we went through together. I hope they see or feel something true to their experiences in the book. To those who aren't aware of this challenging time, I hope I have made them aware of the dire effects of the AIDS crisis. It killed many people, and the queer community stood up and fought against the government. I also hope they understand what it is like to be a part of a political movement. I also hope that people who want to see a change in this world will take some inspiration about how to participate in political activism and community organizing.
How do you react to critical reviews?
This book is so new that I haven't faced a negative review. It's probably yet to come. A writer/author needs to stay true to their internal experience of the book rather than be defined by what other people say, whether it's praise or criticism. Having said that, it's hard to read bad reviews, as I am sensitive, and I do care.
Who are the authors/books that have inspired you?
I mentioned Cat's Eye by Margaret Atwood earlier. James Baldwin is another writer who inspires me, and he was one of the great voices in my awakening. He made me understand that, as a white person, I was responsible for dismantling white supremacy. You may have noticed his name and his writing appears numerous times in this novel. In fact, his novel In Another Country is another book that directly inspired me. Edmund White is a gay white writer, and his novel The Beautiful Room is Empty, a work of autofiction, inspired me while I was writing Army of Lovers.
One weird writing habit you possess?
I incorporate Tarot cards into my writing practice. I've been reading Tarot cards for about 25 years. Every day I choose a card and take a message from what's reflected in it into my day. Whenever deeply involved with a writing project, I'll look to cards for guidance.
What was your most memorable moment during your childhood?
When I was in sixth grade, my family, comprising my parents, and two younger sisters, took a cross-country road trip. We got a car with a camper on the back and drove from New Jersey to the Grand Canyon. During that one month, we saw a lot of places and faced some challenging moments. The gas tank in our car broke, so my dad fixed it using chewing gum. That was a significant and memorable time.
What is the strangest place you have ever visited?
One of the most isolated places was The Aran Islands off the coast of Ireland. My mother was born in Ireland, so I have a lot of family members back there. These islands are remote and barren, and people speak Irish as their first language. It's very rugged and beautiful. It's been twenty years since I last visited.
Lastly, any upcoming books?
I'm working on Dorothy’s Children, which I hope will be the third book in the series. I began with The World of Normal Boys and continued with Robin and Ruby, moving the characters in that story ahead ten years. Dorothy’s Children advances the story another decade, to the late ‘90s.
Author of her memoir, A Turbulent Mind-My journey to Ironman 70.3’, Swetha Amit is currently pursuing her MFA at University of San Francisco. She has published her works in Atticus Review, JMWW journal, Oranges Journal, Gastropoda Lit, Full House literary, Amphora magazine, Grande Dame literary journal, Black Moon Magazine, Fauxmoir lit mag, Poets Choice anthology, and has upcoming pieces in Drunk Monkeys, Agapanthus Collective, The Creative Zine, and Roi Faineant Press. She is one of the contest winners of Beyond words literary magazine, her piece upcoming in November. She is also, alumni of Tin House Winter Workshop 2022 and the Kenyon Review Writers’ workshop 2022. Twitter: @whirlwindtotsInstagram @swethaamit